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N4. Forgiving Our Neighbor.    [Make a Comment]

We are to unconditionally forgive all who sin against us, and conditionally forgive those who repent.

This precept is derived from His Word (blessed is He):

Key Scriptures

Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will not forgive yours.

Matthew 18:21-35
Then Kefa came up and said to him, "Rabbi, how often can my brother sin against me and I have to forgive him? As many as seven times?" "No, not seven times," answered Yeshua, "but seventy times seven! Because of this, the Kingdom of Heaven may be compared with a king who decided to settle accounts with his deputies. Right away they brought forward a man who owed him many millions; and since he couldn't pay, his master ordered that he, his wife, his children and all his possessions be sold to pay the debt. But the servant fell down before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' So out of pity for him, the master let him go and forgave the debt. But as that servant was leaving, he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him some tiny sum. He grabbed him and began to choke him, crying, 'Pay back what you owe me!' His fellow servant fell before him and begged, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused; instead, he had him thrown in jail until he should repay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were extremely distressed; and they went and told their master everything that had taken place. Then the master summoned his servant and said, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt just because you begged me to do it. Shouldn't you have had pity on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' And in anger his master turned him over to the jailers for punishment until he paid back everything he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat you, unless you each forgive your brother from your hearts."

Mark 11:251
And when you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive your offenses.

Luke 6:37
Don't judge, and you won't be judged. Don't condemn, and you won't be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Luke 17:3-4
Watch yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. Also, if seven times in one day he sins against you, and seven times he comes to you and says, 'I repent,' you are to forgive him.

Ephesians 4:31-32
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, violent assertiveness and slander, along with all spitefulness. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted; and forgive each other, just as in the Messiah God has also forgiven you.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with one another; if anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive him. Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.


1. In other translations, verses 25-26.


Supportive Scriptures

Genesis 50:16-21
So they [Yosef's brothers] sent a message to Yosef which said, "Your father gave this order before he died: 'Say to Yosef, "I beg you now, please forgive your brothers' crime and wickedness in doing you harm."' So now, we beg of you, forgive the crime of the servants of the God of your father." Yosef wept when they spoke to him; and his brothers too came, prostrated themselves before him and said, "Here, we are your slaves." But Yosef said to them, "Don't be afraid! Am I in the place of God? You meant to do me harm, but God meant it for good - so that it would come about as it is today, with many people's lives being saved. So don't be afraid - I will provide for you and your little ones." In this way he comforted them, speaking kindly to them.

Leviticus 19:17
Do not hate your brother in your heart, but rebuke your neighbor frankly, so that you won't carry sin because of him. Don't take vengeance on or bear a grudge against any of your people; rather, love your neighbor as yourself; I am ADONAI.

Proverbs 19:11
People with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22
Also, don't take seriously every word spoken, such as when you hear your servant speaking badly of you; because often, as you yourself know, you have spoken badly of others.

Luke 6:27-32
Nevertheless, to you who are listening, what I say is this: "Love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone hits you on one cheek, offer the other too; if someone takes your coat, let him have your shirt as well. If someone asks you for something, give it to him; if someone takes what belongs to you, don't demand it back. Treat other people as you would like them to treat you. What credit is it to you if you love only those who love you? Why, even sinners love those who love them.

Luke 23:34a
Yeshua said, "Father, forgive them; they don't understand what they are doing."

John 20:23
If you forgive someone's sins, their sins are forgiven; if you hold them, they are held.

Romans 12:19
Never seek revenge, my friends; instead, leave that to God's anger; for in the Tanakh it is written, "ADONAI says, 'Vengeance is my responsibility; I will repay.'"

Commentary

Forgiveness in Jewish Tradition

While there is no explicit commandment in the Torah requiring that we forgive our brother, there is one Scripture, Leviticus 19:17, that implicitly means the same thing:

Do not hate your brother in your heart, but rebuke your neighbor frankly, so that you won't carry sin because of him. Don't take vengeance on or bear a grudge against any of your people; rather, love your neighbor as yourself; I am ADONAI.

Rabbinical literature endorses the principle of forgiving others, and gives Genesis 50:16-21 (Yosef's forgiveness of his brothers) as the example we are to follow. Beyond that, all other references to forgiveness are rabbinic, and include:

Mishnah: Yoma 8:9; Baba Kama (92a) 8:5
Talmud: Yoma 86b; Rosh HaShana 17a; Ta'anith 20a,b; Beitz 32b; Shabbat 151b
Shulchan Aruch: Yom Kippur 606:1
Mishneh Torah: De'ot 6:6,9; Madda 6:6,9; Teshuvah 2:9,10,11; 43

It is clear, however, from the following New Covenant Scriptures, that there are not one, but two kinds of forgiveness - unconditional and conditional - and our responsibility to forgive others is different for each of them.

Unconditional Forgiveness2

I call the kind of forgiveness commanded in Mark 11:253 "unconditional Forgiveness":

And when you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive your offenses.

Notice that this kind of forgiveness is truly without condition, and is to be granted, not only to brothers in the Lord, but to anyone who has sinned against us and hurt us. It does not seek to judge the offender, nor does it require that the offender be repentant. It must be given as soon as possible after the offense is committed, so that bitterness does not take root within us and do spiritual damage. This kind of forgiveness is essentially a releasing of the matter to God, and does not retain anger or a desire for personal vengeance (see Ephesians 4:31-32). Unconditional forgiveness is a manifestation of godly love that we are to give, even to our enemies (Luke 6:27-32). Yeshua illustrated this kind of forgiveness when, in Luke 23:34a, He beseeched His Father in heaven to forgive His Roman soldier executioners who were, even at that moment, subjecting Him to an unjust and painful death.

Our granting unconditional forgiveness, and not harboring bitterness against those who have sinned against us, purges us of unholy attitudes that may have resulted from our being victimized, and opens the way for God to forgive us for our sins as well. Conversely, if we do not grant unconditional forgiveness, Mark 11:254, Matthew 6:14-15, and Luke 6:37 convey the certainty that God will not forgive us either. Granting unconditional forgiveness does not, however, mean that the relationship or trust between persons is restored. It only means that the person who has forgiven has freed himself from the anger of vengeance, and has a heart to see the person who has sinned against him repent so that he might be blessed by God.

Conditional Forgiveness

I call the kind of forgiveness commanded in Luke 17:3-4 "Conditional Forgiveness".5

Watch yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. Also, if seven times in one day he sins against you, and seven times he comes to you and says, 'I repent,' you are to forgive him.

Conditional forgiveness is different from unconditional forgiveness in several ways that the Luke Scripture illustrates. First, conditional forgiveness applies only to brother believers.6 Second, whereas unconditional forgiveness must be given whether or not there is repentance, conditional forgiveness is only granted if the offending brother repents, and the brother who has been sinned against is required to judge whether the offending brother has repented before the offended brother forgives him. And it is different in another way as well, which is illustrated in John 20:23 which states:

If you forgive someone's sins, their sins are forgiven; if you hold them, they are held.

Here you see that if one who is sinned-against, judges that his offending brother is repentant and forgives him, God also forgives the offending brother. Conversely, if one who is sinned against withholds forgiveness because, in his judgment, his brother is not repentant, then God honors the judgment and does not forgive the offending brother either. One may ask why John 20:23 applies only as between believers since the Scripture doesn't say that! It is because the verse involves judging, and 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 allows us to judge those who are within the body of believers, but not those who are outside.

Forgiveness Has No Limits

There is no maximum number of times that we must forgive those who sin against us, even if they do so repeatedly. There are no limits on our granting unconditional or conditional forgiveness so that we might walk in holy attitudes and continuous forgiveness ourselves. As previously stated in Luke 17:4:

Also, if seven times in one day he sins against you, and seven times he comes to you and says, 'I repent,' you are to forgive him.

And similarly in Matthew 18:21-22:

Then Kefa came up and said to him, "Rabbi, how often can my brother sin against me and I have to forgive him? As many as seven times?" "No, not seven times," answered Yeshua, "but seventy times seven!"

Scripture's requirement that we forgive does not negate our responsibility to cooperate with public authorities when matters of justice or the protection of others is involved.


2. Sometimes termed "Personal Forgiveness"

3. In other translations, verses 25-26

4. Ibid.

5. It has sometimes been referred to as "Transactional Forgiveness".

6. Understand that everything said about a brother believer applies to a sister as well.


Classical Commentators

There are no mitzvot by Maimonides, Meir, or HaChinuch on the subject of forgiveness.

NCLA: JMm JFm KMm KFm GMm GFm

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