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F2. The Covenant Laws of Marriage.    [Make a Comment]

We are to obey the biblical laws concerning marriage.

This precept is derived from His Word (blessed be He):

Key Scriptures

THE "CREATION" COVENANT OF MARRIAGE

Genesis 2:18-24
ADONAI, God, said, "It isn't good that the person should be alone. I will make for him a companion suitable for helping him." So from the ground ADONAI, God, formed every wild animal and every bird that flies in the air, and he brought them to the person to see what he would call them. Whatever the person would call each living creature, that was to be its name. So the person gave names to all the livestock, to the birds in the air and to every wild animal. But for Adam there was not found a companion suitable for helping him. Then God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the person; and while he was sleeping, he took one of his ribs and closed up the place from which he took it with flesh. The rib which ADONAI, God, had taken from the person, he made a woman-person; and he brought her to the man-person. The man-person said, "At last! This is bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. She is to be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." This is why a man is to leave his father and mother and stick with his wife, and they are to be one flesh.

Exodus 21:7-11 [obsolete] (Maimonides RP213; Chinuch 552)
If a man sells his daughter as a slave, she is not to go free like the men-slaves. If her master married her but decides she no longer pleases him, then he is to allow her to be redeemed. He is not allowed to sell her to a foreign people, because he has treated her unfairly. If he has her marry his son, then he is to treat her like a daughter. If he marries another wife, he is not to reduce her food, clothing or marital rights. If he fails to provide her with these three things, she is to be given her freedom without having to pay anything.

Exodus 22:15-16(16-17) [obsolete]
If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price for her to be his wife. But if her father refuses to give her to him, he must pay a sum equivalent to the bride-price for virgins.

Leviticus 21:13-15 [obsolete] (Maimonides RP38; Chinuch 272)
He [the High Priest] is to marry a virgin; he may not marry a widow, divorcee, profaned woman or prostitute; but he must marry a virgin from among his own people and not disqualify his descendants among his people; because I am ADONAI, who makes him holy.

Deuteronomy 17:17a [obsolete] (Maimonides RN364; Chinuch 501)
Likewise, he is not to acquire many wives for himself, so that his heart will not turn away

Deuteronomy 21:10-13 [obsolete] (Maimonides RP221; Chinuch 532)
When you go out to war against your enemies, and ADONAI your God hands them over to you, and you take prisoners, and you see among the prisoners a woman who looks good to you, and you feel attracted to her and want her as your wife; you are to bring her home to your house, where she will shave her head, cut her fingernails and remove her prison clothing. She will stay there in your house, mourning her father and mother for a full month; after which you may go in to have sexual relations with her and be her husband, and she will be your wife.

Deuteronomy 21:15-17 [obsolete]
If a man has two wives, the one loved and the other unloved, and both the loved and unloved wives have borne him children, and if the firstborn son is the child of the unloved wife; then, when it comes time for him to pass his inheritance on to his sons, he may not give the inheritance due the firstborn to the son of the loved wife in place of the son of the unloved one, who is in fact the firstborn. No, he must acknowledge as firstborn the son of the unloved wife by giving him a double portion of everything he owns, for he is the firstfruits of his manhood, and the right of the firstborn is his.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21 [obsolete] (Chinuch C552)
If a man marries a woman, has sexual relations with her and then, having come to dislike her, brings false charges against her and defames her character by saying, 'I married this woman, but when I had intercourse with her I did not find evidence that she was a virgin'; then the girl's father and mother are to take the evidence of the girl's virginity to the leaders of the town at the gate. The girl's father will say to the leaders, 'I let my daughter marry this man, but he hates her, so he has brought false charges that he didn't find evidence of her virginity; yet here is the evidence of my daughter's virginity' - and they will lay the cloth before the town leaders. The leaders of that town are to take the man, punish him, and fine him two-and-a-half pounds of silver shekels, which they will give to the girl's father, because he has publicly defamed a virgin of Isra'el. She will remain his wife, and he is forbidden from divorcing her as long as he lives. But if the charge is substantiated that evidence for the girl's virginity could not be found; then they are to lead the girl to the door of her father's house, and the men of her town will stone her to death, because she has committed in Isra'el the disgraceful act of being a prostitute while still in her father's house. In this way you will put an end to such wickedness among you.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 [partially obsolete] (Maimonides RP218, RN358; Chinuch C557-558)
If a man comes upon a girl who is a virgin but who is not engaged, and he grabs her and has sexual relations with her, and they are caught in the act, then the man who had intercourse with her must give to the girl's father one-and-a-quarter pounds of silver shekels, and she will become his wife, because he humiliated her; he may not divorce her as long as he lives.

Deuteronomy 23:2(1) [obsolete] (Maimonides RN360; Meir MN136; Chinuch C209)
A man with crushed or damaged private parts may not enter the assembly of ADONAI.

Deuteronomy 23:3(2) [obsolete] (Maimonides RN354; Meir MN137; Chinuch C560)
A mamzer may not enter the assembly of ADONAI, nor may his descendants down to the tenth generation enter the assembly of ADONAI.

Deuteronomy 24:1-2 (Maimonides RP213; Meir MP44; Chinuch C552)
Suppose a man marries a woman and consummates the marriage but later finds her displeasing, because he has found her offensive in some respect. He writes her a divorce document, gives it to her and sends her away from his house. She leaves his house, goes and becomes another man's wife

Deuteronomy 24:5 (Maimonides RP214; Chinuch C582)
If a man has recently married his wife, he is not to be subject to military service; he is to be free of external obligations and left at home for one year to make his new wife happy.

Deuteronomy 25:5-10 [obsolete] (Maimonides RP216-217, RN357; Meir MP45-46, MN135; Chinuch C597-599)
If brothers live together, and one of them dies childless, his widow is not to marry someone unrelated to him; her husband's brother is to go to her and perform the duty of a brother-in-law by marrying her. The first child she bears will succeed to the name of his dead brother, so that his name will not be eliminated from Isra'el. If the man does not wish to marry his brother's widow, then his brother's widow is to go up to the gate, to the leaders, and say, 'My brother-in-law refuses to raise up for his brother a name in Isra'el; he will not perform the duty of a husband's brother for me.' The leaders of his town are to summon him and speak to him. If, on appearing before them, he continues to say, 'I don't want to marry her,' then his brother's widow is to approach him in the presence of the leaders, pull his sandal off his foot, spit in his face and say, 'This is what is done to the man who refuses to build up his brother's family.' From that time on, his family is to be known in Isra'el as 'the family of the man who had his sandal pulled off.'

MARRIAGE IN THE NEW COVENANT

1 Corinthians 7:36-40
Now if a man thinks he is behaving dishonorably by treating his fiancée this way, and if there is strong sexual desire, so that marriage is what ought to happen; then let him do what he wants - he is not sinning: let them get married. But if a man has firmly made up his mind, being under no compulsion but having complete control over his will, if he has decided within himself to keep his fiancée a virgin, he will be doing well. So the man who marries his fiancée will do well, and the man who doesn't marry will do better. A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if the husband dies she is free to marry anyone she wishes, provided he is a believer in the Lord. However, in my opinion, she will be happier if she remains unmarried, and in saying this I think I have God's Spirit.

1 Corinthians 11:3
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is the Messiah, and the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of the Messiah is God.

Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives should submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord; because the husband is head of the wife, just as the Messiah, as head of the Messianic Community, is himself the one who keeps the body safe. Just as the Messianic Community submits to the Messiah, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. As for husbands, love your wives, just as the Messiah loved the Messianic Community, indeed, gave himself up on its behalf, in order to set it apart for God, making it clean through immersion in the mikveh, so to speak, in order to present the Messianic Community to himself as a bride to be proud of, without a spot, wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and without defect. This is how husbands ought to love their wives - like their own bodies; for the man who loves his wife is loving himself. Why, no one ever hated his own flesh! On the contrary, he feeds it well and takes care of it, just as the Messiah does the Messianic Community, because we are parts of his Body. "Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and remain with his wife, and the two will become one." There is profound truth hidden here, which I say concerns the Messiah and the Messianic Community. However, the text also applies to each of you individually: let each man love his wife as he does himself, and see that the wife respects her husband.

Colossians 3:18-19
Wives, subject yourselves to your husbands, as is appropriate in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don't treat them harshly.

Hebrews 13:4a
Marriage is honorable in every respect; and, in particular, sex within marriage is pure.

Key Scriptures - Prohibited Marriages

Leviticus 18:6-20 (Maimonides RN330-336, RN340-345, RN353; Meir MN110, MN112-113, MN115, MN119-120, MN125-131; Chinuch C188, C190-198, C200-202, C206)
None of you is to approach anyone who is a close relative in order to have sexual relations; I am ADONAI. You are not to have sexual relations with your father, and you are not to have sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother - do not have sexual relations with her. You are not to have sexual relations with your father's wife; that is your father's prerogative. You are not to have sexual relations with your sister, the daughter of your father or the daughter of your mother, whether born at home or elsewhere. Do not have sexual relations with them. You are not to have sexual relations with your son's daughter or with your daughter's daughter. Do not have sexual relations with them, because their sexual disgrace will be your own. You are not to have sexual relations with your father's wife's daughter, born to your father, because she is your sister; do not have sexual relations with her. You are not to have sexual relations with your father's sister, because she is your father's close relative. You are not to have sexual relations with your mother's sister, because she is your mother's close relative. You are not to disgrace your father's brother by having sexual relations with his wife, because she is your aunt. You are not to have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law; because she is your son's wife. Do not have sexual relations with her. You are not to have sexual relations with your brother's wife, because this is your brother's prerogative. You are not to have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter, nor are you to have sexual relations with her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter; they are close relatives of hers, and it would be shameful. You are not to take a woman to be a rival with her sister and have sexual relations with her while her sister is still alive. You are not to approach a woman in order to have sexual relations with her when she is unclean from her time of niddah. You are not to go to bed with your neighbor's wife and thus become unclean with her.

Leviticus 20:14 (Maimonides RN336; Chinuch C195)
If a man marries a woman and her mother, it is depravity; they are to be put to death by fire, both he and they, so that there will not be depravity among you.

Leviticus 21:7 (Maimonides RN158-160; Meir MN138-140; Chinuch C266-268)
A cohen is not to marry a woman who is a prostitute, who has been profaned or who has been divorced; because he is holy for his God.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not yoke yourselves together in a team with unbelievers. For how can righteousness and lawlessness be partners? What fellowship does light have with darkness? What harmony can there be between the Messiah and B'liya'al? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Supportive Scriptures - The "Creation" Covenant of Marriage

Genesis 38:8-10
Y'hudah said to Onan, "Go and sleep with your brother's wife - perform the duty of a husband's brother to her, and preserve your brother's line of descent." However, Onan knew that the child would not count as his; so whenever he had intercourse with his brother's wife, he spilled the semen on the ground, so as not to give his brother offspring. What he did was evil from ADONAI's perspective, so he killed him too.

1 Kings 11:1-6
King Shlomo loved many foreign women besides the daughter of Pharaoh. There were women from the Mo'avi, 'Amoni, Edomi, Tzidoni and Hitti - nations about which ADONAI had said to the people of Isra'el, "You are not to go among them or they among you, because they will turn your hearts away toward their gods." But Shlomo was deeply attached to them by his love. He had 700 wives, all princesses, and 300 concubines; and his wives turned his heart away. For when Shlomo became old, his wives turned his heart away toward other gods; so that he was not wholehearted with ADONAI his God, as David his father had been. For Shlomo followed 'Ashtoret the goddess of the Tzidoni and Milkom the abomination of the 'Amoni. Thus Shlomo did what was evil in ADONAI's view and did not fully follow ADONAI, as David his father had done.

Jeremiah 29:6
Choose women to marry, and have sons and daughters. Choose wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage to men, so that they can have sons and daughters - increase your numbers there, don't decrease.

Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds a great good; he has won the favor of ADONAI.

Proverbs 19:14
A house and wealth are inherited from ancestors, but a sensible wife is from ADONAI.

Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a capable wife? Her value is far beyond that of pearls. Her husband trusts her from his heart, and she will prove a great asset to him. She works to bring him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She procures a supply of wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like those merchant vessels, bringing her food from far away. It's still dark when she rises to give food to her household and orders to the young women serving her. She considers a field, then buys it, and from her earnings she plants a vineyard. She gathers her strength around her and throws herself into her work. She sees that her business affairs go well; her lamp stays lit at night. She puts her hands to the staff with the flax; her fingers hold the spinning rod. She reaches out to embrace the poor and opens her arms to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; since all of them are doubly clothed. She makes her own quilts; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is known at the city gates when he sits with the leaders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she supplies the merchants with sashes. Clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come. When she opens her mouth, she speaks wisely; on her tongue is loving instruction. She watches how things go in her house, not eating the bread of idleness. Her children arise; they make her happy; her husband too, as he praises her: "Many women have done wonderful things, but you surpass them all!" Charm can lie, beauty can vanish, but a woman who fears ADONAI should be praised. Give her a share in what she produces; let her works speak her praises at the city gates.

Matthew 19:3-6
Some P'rushim came and tried to trap him by asking, "Is it permitted for a man to divorce his wife on any ground whatever?" He replied, "Haven't you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and that he said, 'For this reason a man should leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two are to become one flesh'? Thus they are no longer two, but one. So then, no one should split apart what God has joined together."

Mark 10:6-8
However, at the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason, a man should leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two are to become one flesh. Thus they are no longer two, but one.

Supportive Scriptures - Marriage in the New Covenant

Mark 12:25
For when people rise from the dead, neither men nor women marry - they are like angels in heaven.

1 Corinthians 7:1-6
Now to deal with the questions you wrote about: "Is it good for a man to keep away from women?" Well, because of the danger of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give his wife what she is entitled to in the marriage relationship, and the wife should do the same for her husband. The wife is not in charge of her own body, but her husband is; likewise, the husband is not in charge of his own body, but his wife is. Do not deprive each other, except for a limited time, by mutual agreement, and then only so as to have extra time for prayer; but afterwards, come together again. Otherwise, because of your lack of self-control, you may succumb to the Adversary's temptation. I am giving you this as a suggestion, not as a command.

1 Corinthians 7:25-35
Now the question about the unmarried: I do not have a command from the Lord, but I offer an opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is worthy to be trusted. I suppose that in a time of stress like the present it is good for a person to stay as he is. That means that if a man has a wife, he should not seek to be free of her; and if he is unmarried, he should not look for a wife. But if you marry you do not sin, and if a girl marries she does not sin. It is just that those who get married will have the normal problems of married life, and I would rather spare you. What I am saying, brothers, is that there is not much time left: from now on a man with a wife should live as if he had none - and those who are sad should live as if they weren't, those who are happy as if they weren't, and those who deal in worldly affairs as if not engrossed in them - because the present scheme of things in this world won't last much longer. What I want is for you to be free of concern. An unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord's affairs, with how to please the Lord; but the married man concerns himself with the world's affairs, with how to please his wife; and he finds himself split. Likewise the woman who is no longer married or the girl who has never been married concerns herself with the Lord's affairs, with how to be holy both physically and spiritually; but the married woman concerns herself with the world's affairs, with how to please her husband. I am telling you this for your own benefit, not to put restrictions on you - I am simply concerned that you live in a proper manner and serve the Lord with undivided devotion.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not yoke yourselves together in a team with unbelievers. For how can righteousness and lawlessness be partners? What fellowship does light have with darkness? What harmony can there be between the Messiah and B'liya'al? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

1 Timothy 3:2,12
A congregation leader must be above reproach, he must be faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, orderly, hospitable and able to teach ... Let the shammashim each be faithful to his wife, managing his children and household well.

Titus 1:6
A leader must be blameless, husband to one wife, with believing children who do not have a reputation for being wild or rebellious.

Hebrews 13:4a
Marriage is honorable in every respect; and, in particular, sex within marriage is pure.

1 Peter 3:5-7
This is how the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves and submit to their husbands, the way Sarah obeyed Avraham, honoring him as her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not succumb to fear. You husbands, likewise, conduct your married lives with understanding. Although your wife may be weaker physically, you should respect her as a fellow-heir of the gift of Life. If you don't, your prayers will be blocked.

Supportive Scriptures - Prohibited Marriages

Leviticus 20:17
If a man takes his sister, his father's daughter or his mother's daughter, and has sexual relations with her, and she consents, it is a shameful thing; they are to be cut off publicly - he has had sexual relations with his sister, and he will bear the consequences of their wrongdoing.

Leviticus 20:19-21
You are not to have sexual relations with your mother's sister or your father's sister; a person who does this has had sexual relations with his close relative; they will bear the consequences of their wrongdoing. If a man goes to bed with his uncle's wife, he has disgraced his uncle sexually; they will bear the consequences of their sin and die childless. If a man takes his brother's wife, it is uncleanness; he has disgraced his brother sexually; they will be childless.

Leviticus 21:13-14
He [a cohen] is to marry a virgin; he may not marry a widow, divorcee, profaned woman or prostitute; but he must marry a virgin from among his own people.

Deuteronomy 23:1-9(22:30-23:8)
A man is not to take his father's wife, thus violating his father's rights. A man with crushed or damaged private parts may not enter the assembly of ADONAI. A mamzer may not enter the assembly of ADONAI, nor may his descendants down to the tenth generation enter the assembly of ADONAI. No 'Amoni or Mo'avi may enter the assembly of ADONAI, nor may any of his descendants down to the tenth generation ever enter the assembly of ADONAI, because they did not supply you with food and water when you were on the road after leaving Egypt, and because they hired Bil'am the son of B'or from P'tor in Aram-Naharayim to put a curse on you. But ADONAI your God would not listen to Bil'am; rather, ADONAI your God turned the curse into a blessing for you; because ADONAI your God loved you. So you are never to seek their peace or well being, as long as you live. But you are not to detest an Edomi, because he is your brother; and you are not to detest an Egyptian, because you lived as a foreigner in his land. The third generation of children born to them may enter the assembly of ADONAI.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4
Suppose a man marries a woman and consummates the marriage but later finds her displeasing, because he has found her offensive in some respect. He writes her a divorce document, gives it to her and sends her away from his house. She leaves his house, goes and becomes another man's wife; but the second husband dislikes her and writes her a get, gives it to her and sends her away from his house; or the second husband whom she married dies. In such a case her first husband, who sent her away, may not take her again as his wife, because she is now defiled. It would be detestable to ADONAI, and you are not to bring about sin in the land ADONAI your God is giving you as your inheritance.

Ezra 9:12-14
Therefore, you are not to give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons; and you are not to promote their peace or prosperity ever. Only in this way will you grow strong, enjoy the good things of the land and leave it as a lasting inheritance to your children. Now, after all that has come upon us because of our evil deeds and our deep guilt - and even so, you, our God, have punished us less than our sins deserve and have given us a surviving remnant - are we to break your mitzvot again by making marriages with the peoples who have these disgusting practices? Won't you become so angry with us that you would destroy us completely, so that there would be no surviving remnant and no one who escapes?

2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not yoke yourselves together in a team with unbelievers. For how can righteousness and lawlessness be partners? What fellowship does light have with darkness? What harmony can there be between the Messiah and B'liya'al? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Supportive Scriptures - Singleness

Matthew 19:12
For there are different reasons why men do not marry - some because they were born without the desire, some because they have been castrated, and some because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever can grasp this, let him do so.

1 Corinthians 7:8
Now to the single people and the widows I say that it is fine if they remain unmarried like me;

1 Corinthians 7:32-35
What I want is for you to be free of concern. An unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord's affairs, with how to please the Lord; but the married man concerns himself with the world's affairs, with how to please his wife; and he finds himself split. Likewise the woman who is no longer married or the girl who has never been married concerns herself with the Lord's affairs, with how to be holy both physically and spiritually; but the married woman concerns herself with the world's affairs, with how to please her husband. I am telling you this for your own benefit, not to put restrictions on you - I am simply concerned that you live in a proper manner and serve the Lord with undivided devotion.

Commentary

This Mitzvah is derived primarily from Genesis 2:24:

This is why a man is to leave his father and mother and stick with his wife, and they are to be one flesh.¹

The resulting "one flesh" is what makes the leaving and cleaving covenantal, and the fact that the commandment appears so early in Genesis is why I call it a "creation" covenant (to distinguish it from other covenants that came later). We commonly call this covenant "marriage".

You will notice that several of the Scriptures from the Tanakh cited above are labeled "obsolete". That is because circumstances and conditions today are so different than during the time of Moses. Back then, the Scriptures that are now obsolete made perfect sense and could be implemented, while today they cannot.

Although this Mitzvah is expressed as a "man" leaving his parents to join with his wife, the covenant of becoming "one flesh" cannot be fulfilled unless the man's intended wife similarly leaves her parents. The "leaving" of parents in the Scripture is not a reference to where the couple resides. The Scripture is speaking of the controlling influence that parents rightly have over their young unmarried children, but which is improper and interfering if it is allowed to continue once the child (man or woman) becomes married.

I believe the reason Genesis 2:24 reads the way it does, is that a man's responsibility to leave his parents is different from a woman's. It is the man's responsibility to take the initiative in leaving, but it is the woman's parents' responsibility to release her to her intended husband. The implication of her parents not doing so is, of course, obvious and, after marriage, problems result when either or both of the marrieds allow improper ties to their parents to continue.

The concept of becoming "one flesh" is not only covenantal, but also mystical and difficult to comprehend. Mark 10:8b attempts to explain it by stating:

Thus they are no longer two, but one.

Ephesians 5:29-32 relates the phenomenon to Messiah and the Body of Believers by stating:

Why, no one ever hated his own flesh! On the contrary, he feeds it well and takes care of it, just as the Messiah does the Messianic Community, because we are parts of his Body. "Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and remain with his wife, and the two will become one." There is profound truth hidden here, which I say concerns the Messiah and the Messianic Community.

This "oneness" possibly reminds one of the plural unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Genesis 2:24 has been interpreted, in some quarters, as requiring everyone to marry. I do not view it that way, especially in light of Paul's remarks in 1 Corinthians 7:8, 32-35. I believe that Scripture teaches that the norm of creation is to marry and procreate, but it allows for not doing so and, in some cases, singleness is God's will for an individual (see Matthew 19:12).

This Mitzvah includes Scriptures that prohibit marriage to certain persons. These include family members with whom we cannot have sexual relations, persons with whom we are unequally yoked, Jews marrying persons of certain nations, etc. It also includes persons that a cohen cannot marry. Secular law also puts restrictions on marrying family members in order to avoid weakening the human genetic pool and allowing unwanted recessive traits to emerge.

1. Some translations state "cleave" to his wife.

Classical Commentators

Maimonides, Meir, and HaChinuch make no reference to Genesis 2:24 (or any other Scripture) to support leaving one's father and mother and becoming one flesh with one's wife when one marries. Maimonides' RP213, Meir's MP44, and HaChinuch's C552, rely on Deuteronomy 24:1 to support their allegation that marriage must be by kiddushin (consecration) - a binding marriage ceremony. The Scripture does not say that, nor does any other Scripture.

Maimonides and HaChinuch refer to Exodus 21:11, and Meir refers to Deuteronomy 24:1 to support their general law of marriage, but I find all three commentators ambiguous as to whether their respective mitzvot command marriage or simply describe the kiddushin (sanctification), of a marriage ceremony. Apparently, Rabbi Dr. Charles B. Chavel, a prominent translator into English of Maimonides' "Sefer HaMitzvot" had the same concern, for he found it necessary to introduce the bracketed word [only] in the first sentence of his mitzvah RP213, causing it to read:

By this injunction we are commanded to take a woman to wife [only] by a binding ceremony: either by giving her something [of value]², or by handing her a writ of marriage, or by intercourse [accompanied by a declaration of marriage].

Meir discusses kiddushin through the payment of monetary value, and he also discusses betrothal before nissuin (consummation) but not the other ways of consecrating a marriage.

HaChinuch presents the most detail of kiddushin. He states that if marriage is consecrated by the giving of monetary value, the groom must say: "You are now consecrated to me by this money (or thing of monetary value)." If the marriage is consecrated by a document, the groom must say: "You are consecrated to me by this document (or whatever it is)." If marriage is consecrated by sexual intercourse, he must say to his bride before witnesses: "You are consecrated to me by this act of intimacy." He then takes his bride into seclusion and is seen doing so by the witnesses.

2. The modern equivalent of paying the bride money is for the groom to give the bride a wedding ring of significant monetary value while stating: "You are hereby consecrated to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel." It is analogous to a "bride price" practiced in certain other cultures, and opposite to a "dowry" which the bride or the bride's father is expected to pay to the groom.

NCLA: JMm KMm KFm JFm GMm GFm

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